The picture within

I have always wondered how to “hear” God’s word whenever I read or hear someone say that they heard from God. I have experienced “hearing” or being prompted by an unknown force that makes me do things that later on upon reflection would make me think that maybe it was the Holy Spirit leading me on.

Today, after reading the Holy Bible and devotional and trying to be still to reflect on what I’ve read, it came to my mind that knowing God’s voice is like viewing a picture. When you look at a picture perfunctorily, you see the immediate image that you see but if you stare and focus on it, you’ll see the details and you begin to appreciate the beauty of the whole view. It is the same way as reading the Bible, when you will just read without invoking the Holy Spirit to open your eyes, your mind and your heart, the experience will be similar to looking at a passing scenery. But if you pray, asking for guidance it will be liking opening your eyes to a more vibrant, colorful view and you are pulled into what you are reading, as if you are part of it. Now, this is just how I feel, I’m not sure of the experience of others because we are moved differently according to our degree of receptiveness.

I’ve had my devotional book by Blackaby since 2004 but it was only last August that I looked into the picture of the cover. The letter “O” of the word God is a yellow orange ball of flame. Within it is a burning bush which is maybe the illustrator’s idea of what Moses saw when he went up to the mountains and encountered God for the first time. That was all what I saw all those days that I’ve read the book, until one day after I started praying the Holy Rosary once again. I don’t know why I looked at the cover but suddenly I saw the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary with the infant Jesus in the middle of the glowing bush. Shocked, I sure was because I never saw that before. When I looked at the picture more closely, there were more faces … the crucified Jesus and daily after that, I can see more faces which kept me wondering who are these faces? So, it became like a game for me. After praying, I’ll look at the picture and ask what new face will I see today? Sometimes, I’d see like a devil’s face and I’d get scared but then I surmised not everyone is good looking. There is a portion of the ball of fire that I am hesitant to stare at, near the tip of the flame is a vision of a bearded man which I’ve designated as God. There is a feeling of awe and unworthiness to look at it, I feel I’m not worthy to look at this particular face. I feel shame, so I try not to look at it if I can prevent it. It is a kindly face but I just feel awkward, it’s not time to face someone so loving and kind yet. I’ve been looking at the picture for quite sometime and marveling on the faces that I see, when it came to my mind that these faces are the persons who’ve worked so hard to spread the Gospel and there will be more faces as the Catholic church will evolve. Oh, how I wish I know the names of these faces! Maybe, another time…