The picture within

I have always wondered how to “hear” God’s word whenever I read or hear someone say that they heard from God. I have experienced “hearing” or being prompted by an unknown force that makes me do things that later on upon reflection would make me think that maybe it was the Holy Spirit leading me on.

Today, after reading the Holy Bible and devotional and trying to be still to reflect on what I’ve read, it came to my mind that knowing God’s voice is like viewing a picture. When you look at a picture perfunctorily, you see the immediate image that you see but if you stare and focus on it, you’ll see the details and you begin to appreciate the beauty of the whole view. It is the same way as reading the Bible, when you will just read without invoking the Holy Spirit to open your eyes, your mind and your heart, the experience will be similar to looking at a passing scenery. But if you pray, asking for guidance it will be liking opening your eyes to a more vibrant, colorful view and you are pulled into what you are reading, as if you are part of it. Now, this is just how I feel, I’m not sure of the experience of others because we are moved differently according to our degree of receptiveness.

I’ve had my devotional book by Blackaby since 2004 but it was only last August that I looked into the picture of the cover. The letter “O” of the word God is a yellow orange ball of flame. Within it is a burning bush which is maybe the illustrator’s idea of what Moses saw when he went up to the mountains and encountered God for the first time. That was all what I saw all those days that I’ve read the book, until one day after I started praying the Holy Rosary once again. I don’t know why I looked at the cover but suddenly I saw the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary with the infant Jesus in the middle of the glowing bush. Shocked, I sure was because I never saw that before. When I looked at the picture more closely, there were more faces … the crucified Jesus and daily after that, I can see more faces which kept me wondering who are these faces? So, it became like a game for me. After praying, I’ll look at the picture and ask what new face will I see today? Sometimes, I’d see like a devil’s face and I’d get scared but then I surmised not everyone is good looking. There is a portion of the ball of fire that I am hesitant to stare at, near the tip of the flame is a vision of a bearded man which I’ve designated as God. There is a feeling of awe and unworthiness to look at it, I feel I’m not worthy to look at this particular face. I feel shame, so I try not to look at it if I can prevent it. It is a kindly face but I just feel awkward, it’s not time to face someone so loving and kind yet. I’ve been looking at the picture for quite sometime and marveling on the faces that I see, when it came to my mind that these faces are the persons who’ve worked so hard to spread the Gospel and there will be more faces as the Catholic church will evolve. Oh, how I wish I know the names of these faces! Maybe, another time…

The Bible

If there is one thing that I regret not doing earlier in my life, that would be not seriously reading the Bible and not taking to heart the lessons to be learned from the scriptures. I remember reading the Bible like it was another paperback novel back then but it was like a speed reading test for me. The sooner I can finish one chapter, the better it was so I can say I was able to read the Bible from cover to cover. But I never did! Somehow, things would crop up to distract me from my goal. Years later, I would start again and half way through the book, I’d lose interest in it and place it back in the corner to collect dust until I would pick it up again. Maybe, it was not the perfect time for me to read it. Knowing God has a purpose for everything that happens in our life, I’d like to think I wasn’t receptive yet to the prompts of the Holy Spirit back then. I belonged to those whose eyes saw, but did not see, who heard but did not understand.

Maybe because it was speed reading, I didn’t see the beauty of the words and didn’t understand the message of the stories that would help me a lot with my life. I was racing against time to live life to the fullest but I forgot that in order to live well, I should master first the Manual of Life, which is the Bible. Oh darn, why didn’t I learn of this secret earlier? Because truly, now I can say what a valuable source of guidance and inspiration the Bible is. And what beautiful words! Maybe poets and writers copied some of their lines from the scriptures. I’m starting to read the Bible once again and I am savoring each word like a thirsty soul, I drink from it the wisdom that was given long time ago but was set aside in preference for worldly things.